


what's happening

by heynineteen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Yoon Jeonghan-centric, jeonghan deals with feelings, kyeomhan, seokhan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heynineteen/pseuds/heynineteen
Summary: what's happening? i thought i was fine. jeonghan-centric. in which jeonghan tries to deal with seokmin and his blossoming feelings for him.inspired by ava max's song "OMG, what's happening."
Relationships: Lee Seokmin | DK & Yoon Jeonghan, Lee Seokmin | DK/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	what's happening

**Author's Note:**

> i've recently discovered ava max's song "OMG, what's happening" and i love it so much !! and it inspired me to write this seokhan fic. you can give the song a listen or look at the lyrics to see how it's inspired the story tho tbh i think it was a pretty straightforward interpretation of what's happening in the song but idk !! i just know that i loved the song and wanted to write a seokhan fic based on it.
> 
> also, just the usual reminder that jeonghan and seokmin are real, actual people, and the characters in my story aren't who they are in real life! and though we may love their dynamics and feel soft for them it would be rude for us to push our shipping agenda onto them ! and this is just a work of fiction and fans who ship people together/think certain people would look good together should always keep in mind the line between reality & fiction,,

_What’s happening?_

_I thought I was fine._

/////

Jeonghan was hard to read, hard to get to know, and harder to get closer to. He’d always been reserved with his emotions, but it was after his first heartbreak early on in university that he built the walls no one could ever get past.

No one except Seungcheol and Jisoo, who he’d been friends with since middle school. And his family, whom he loved dearly. But even then, they’d often chastise him about keeping things to himself, and it usually took a lot of prodding before he’d open up to them.

A little more than half a decade had passed since then, but his walls remained. Tall, impenetrable, guarding his carefully guarded heart. For seven years, it had been that way.

That was, until he crossed paths with Lee Seokmin.

Lee Seokmin, who had accidentally bumped into Jeonghan at the coffee shop and accidentally spilled his drink on him. Lee Seokmin, the guy who insisted on making it up to Jeonghan and treated him to a dinner at some hole-in-the-wall which, to this day, was still one of Jeonghan’s favorite places to eat. Lee Seokmin, who had gone out of his way to lend Jeonghan his hoodie and walk him home after their dinner since it was raining and neither of them had brought their umbrellas. Lee Seokmin, who had chosen to get himself wet in the rain and insisted that Jeonghan use his coat and that yes, he was fine. Lee Seokmin, who showed up the next week at his apartment asking if he wanted to go for a dessert run that night. Lee Seokmin, who had slowly made himself a permanent fixture in Jeonghan’s life and who had, little by little, chipped at Jeonghan’s walls until they fell.

Jeonghan was slowly getting used to the kind of life where his walls weren’t built so impossibly high. He had become more open about his feelings, and it no longer took his family days of tiptoeing around him before he told them what was wrong; nor did it take Jisoo and Seungcheol a night out and several bottles of beer before Jeonghan opened up about what he felt. It had even come to a point where he would take the initative to say what was bothering with him, which he mostly did around Seokmin, who would stroke Jeonghan’s hair softly as he talked about what was on his mind.

It was freeing, really. Finally being able to get stuff off his chest, not having to deal with the furtive looks Seungcheol and Jisoo often shared when he was in one of his moods, learning to be vulnerable with those he loved the most –

That was, until Seokmin had confessed his feelings for Jeonghan.

And then he felt the walls start to go up again, afraid of what would happen next. He knew Seokmin was special to him, but he wasn’t sure if he liked Seokmin the way he knew Seokmin liked him. Deep inside, Jeonghan had an inkling that what he felt for Seokmin was anything but platonic, but fear over the possible change in their current friendship, as well as memories of what had happened back then, made him hesitate. Seokmin, however, had reassured him that no matter what Jeonghan felt towards him, he would still be his friend. And so Jeonghan had just smiled ruefully at Seokmin’s confession, before offering to make dinner for them both.

To Seokmin’s credit, however, he had stayed. Seokmin had continued to show up; they continued to have movie nights together; they continued to go out for a midnight snack; had continued to talk about life and happenings and everything in between. It was as if nothing had changed between them – but Jeonghan knew better. He could see it in how Seokmin’s hand sometimes lingered too long at the small of his back when they entered a crowded place, or how their hugs would last a second too long. He could see it in how Seokmin would drop any plans whenever Jeonghan needed someone to talk to. He knew Seokmin still had feelings for him.

And what scared Jeonghan was that he was starting to feel the same way too. Feelings he had long buried slowly started to make themselves known, and Jeonghan got scared. He had said nothing the night Seokmin had confessed, had never brought it up again, and now here he was – in love with the guy who was sunshine personified and had brought his walls down?

And the walls that had started rebuilding themselves after his confession but had halted their progress started to go up again. They built themselves slowly at first, brick by brick, until the building had sped up and Jeonghan had once again built an impenetrable fortress around himself, pushing the people he loved, especially Seokmin, away.

Seokmin had persisted, however. Had tried his very hardest to get through to Jeonghan, to fix what had happened between them –

But now, here they were.

/////

Jeonghan lay in his bed. He stared up at the ceiling, barely visible by the thin strip of moonlight that peaked in between the curtains. He tossed and turned, but couldn’t bring himself to sleep.

It had been like this for the past two weeks.

It was silent, save for the occasional rumble of a car outside, enjoying the empty streets. Jeonghan had always been a fussy sleeper, in that he needed the environment to be perfect for him to fall asleep – which meant the lights turned off, silence, and a bit of light from the moon seeping through the curtains. But this time, he found that the silence that surrounded him to be suffocating.

He turned once more, sighing. He had gotten used to Seokmin sleeping over at his apartment several times in the week, and occasionally bearing witness to his eerily realistic sleep talking. He missed Seokmin’s warm presence and the way he usually reached out for Jeonghan in the middle of the night.

He used to long for silence each night to lull him to sleep, but the silence that surrounded him now was loud and deafening and he wanted nothing more than to hear Seokmin mumble in his sleep and feel his presence next to him.

He missed Seokmin a lot.

But Jeonghan knew it was his doing.

He had distanced himself from Seokmin, refusing to open up even when the latter had tried every possible tactic – giving him some time alone, doing other activities to get his mind off of things, asking him what was wrong – to get him to share what was on his mind. His replies had been curt, his text messages to Seokmin had dwindled to almost none, and he had slowly stopped meeting up with Seokmin. He knew he was being unfair to Seokmin, but he had been too consumed by fear of what he was feeling towards Seokmin and memories of the past – and so he continued to push him away. And though Seokmin had tried and persisted and did his very best to tear down the walls Jeonghan had built around himself, there was only so much he could take.

And now, here was Jeonghan, with a Seokmin-shaped hole in his life.

He brought the thin blanket up to his chin. He was at what was arguably the best point in his life – he was succeeding in his career; he knew he looked his best (he wasn’t blind to the stares of men and women he passed on the streets); he had enough savings to last him the next decade; he got to spend time doing what he loved; got to meet his family often; regularly met up with Seungcheol and Jisoo despite their busy schedules –

Yet he was miserable.

He fucking missed Seokmin.

He buried his head under the blanket, scrunching up his face in frustration. He had hoped to avoid all these feelings by distancing himself from Seokmin, but look at where it got him.

Look at what he’d done.

/////

 _Finally_ , Jeonghan thought as he stepped foot inside his apartment. After taking a quick shower and heating up some leftovers the other day for dinner, he flopped onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling, unseeing.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to relax. The TV played in the background, and though snippets of conversation occasionally made its way to Jeonghan’s ears, it was all white noise for the most part. He took a deep breath, emptying his mind of anything and everything. He had a rough day at work, and he really needed this time to just let go and relax and to stop thinking and feeling –

For a while, it worked. He could feel his furrowed eyebrows relax, and he felt his breathing steady. It felt like everything burdening him was slowly being lifted away.

Until a voice broke through his thoughts, and ruined any semblance of peace he had achieved earlier.

The song was light and soothing and calm – something one would play on a rainy day while snuggled up in their comforter – but this time, all it brought Jeonghan was pain.

Because this was _their_ song.

His chest tightened. It was the song they had often sung together. Sometimes, Seokmin would sing it out of the blue, to which Jeonghan always responded by singing the next lines. It was their thing.

Fumbling for the remote, he pressed the power button, effectively cutting off the man’s voice, but it did nothing to stop the torrent of memories and feelings it had unleashed in Jeonghan. He felt like screaming – he had been doing so well; it’s almost been a month, yet hearing their song had effectively ruined any progress he’d achieved the past weeks.

And though there was a tightness in his chest, it was also accompanied by another feeling. He felt like his chest was about to burst with everything he wanted to tell Seokmin – _I’m sorry I like you I shouldn’t have pushed you away I miss you I miss your presence I love you –_

Jeonghan had always been pretty reserved about his emotions. But at this moment, he wanted nothing more than to shout at the top of his lungs how much he missed Seokmin and how he was a fool for pushing him away and that he fucking loved him and that he was so fucking sorry.

He tried to work everything out in his mind, allowing the emotions to wash over him. But it wasn’t enough – he felt like screaming, and he could feel his entire body tensing up.

He padded over to his guitar at the corner of the room. Ever since Jisoo had taught him how to play the guitar back in high school, it had been a hobby of his to learn some songs and play them on the guitar. And at other times, such as now, it functioned as an outlet for his emotions.

And as he strummed the guitar and sang, voice raspy from weeks of disuse, he felt the tension slowly dissipate and leave his body. His fingertips had just started to sting a bit, something that he’d learned to deal with early on in his guitar journey, and he got up from his seat to place the guitar back in its corner.

As he did so, an idea began to take root in his mind.

/////

The sky was gray, cloudy, and it looked as if it were about to rain any minute.

Jeonghan bit his lip in worry and quickened his pace, almost running towards Seokmin’s apartment. He maneuvered around the hordes of people making their way back home from work, trying his best to avoid hitting them with the guitar currently strapped to his back.

He felt a drop land on his head. Cursing silently, he tucked the guitar inside his coat, making sure the body was covered so it didn’t get too wet, and he made a run for it. Thankfully, Seokmin’s apartment was just a few minutes away. He knew he looked stupid, running with a guitar strapped around his body and tucked inside his large coat to shield it from the rain, but he didn’t care – he had to make it to Seokmin’s apartment as soon as possible, and avoid getting drenched from the downpour.

Less than five minutes later, he was in front of Seokmin’s door. Though the neck of the guitar was a bit wet, the part of the guitar hidden inside his coat was, for the most part, quite dry and relatively unscathed. The same couldn’t be said for Jeonghan, however, whose perfectly styled hair was now stuck to his forehead, and whose shoes squeaked a bit as he walked.

But none of those were important. Because now, he was in front of Seokmin’s apartment door – the man whose presence he had sorely missed for the past month, and whose face he couldn’t get out of his head in the same span of time.

He knocked and brought the guitar to his front. His hands shook.

He had never done this for anyone – never written a song for anyone, never played the guitar for someone, never did both to apologize to someone he held dear.

Seokmin had always convinced him to sing and play the guitar for him, and though Seokmin had heard him sing plenty of times, he still found himself getting nervous every time he sang, especially in front of Seokmin, whose voice was probably what heaven sounded like. Although Jeonghan gave in to singing for Seokmin, such as when they did karaoke sometimes or when they’d sing their song, he had always shied away from playing the guitar for him; which all explained why he was so fucking nervous right now, not even including the worry about how Seokmin would react to his presence. _Would he get mad? would he slam the door shut without acknowledging my presence? Would he sigh with relief and welcome me into his apartment?_

The door opened, and Jeonghan was now face to face with the person he’s missed dearly the past few weeks. He gazed at the dark hair that was parted in the middle, the tall bridge of his nose, the broad shoulders, the nearly inconspicuous moles on his cheek, and took him all in. Jeonghan saw Seokmin’s eyes widen at the state he was in – he knew he looked awful and was probably dripping water onto the floor tiles – but before Seokmin could say anything, Jeonghan had strummed his guitar and started singing.

/////

Jeonghan was currently dressed in much warmer and drier clothes now. He fingered the gray brick joggers he sported at the moment, and his gaze drifted to the wet clothes that Seokmin had hung to dry. Jeonghan actually had spare clothes here in Seokmin’s apartment, but he’d opted to wear Seokmin’s clothes just to be surrounded once more by his familiar scent – he’d missed it after a month of without Seokmin.

Which, apparently, he didn’t need to do, because he was now snuggled against Seokmin’s hard chest, where he was enveloped in Seokmin’s familiar warmth and scent that made Jeonghan feel warm all over. He felt Seokmin press his lips to his forehead, and Jeonghan snuggled closer to Seokmin.

‘I love your voice,” Seokmin spoke, pulling away to gaze at Jeonghan with the fondest look in his eyes. “Thanks for singing to me and playing for me and writing that for me.”

Jeonghan looked down, embarrassed at how there was absolutely no trace of resentment or hurt in Seokmin’s expression, even when he had every right to be angry at how Jeonghan had treated him the past few weeks. He pressed his forehead against Seokmin’s and exhaled shakily. “Thank you for forgiving me – I, I really don’t deserve you,” he mumbled.

He closed his eyes as he felt the tears well up. He tried to hide it, but Seokmin had already noticed the stray tear that had escaped. His hands went to Jeonghan’s cheeks to wipe at his tears. “Hey, no, you do- you’re one of the kindest people,” Seokmin reassured him. “I understand why you did what you did, and I also had my fair share of faults as well,” Seokmin gently said. “But it doesn’t matter now.”

Jeonghan merely kept silent, prompting Seokmin to clasp Jeonghan’s trembling hands in his. “We’re okay, hyung,” Seokmin gazed at him intently, and Jeonghan felt the intensity of his gaze flood his veins. “Let’s let this be a new start for us,” he said as he rubbed his nose against Jeonghan’s, who, despite his tears, couldn’t help but coo inwardly at the adorable sight.

“Let’s be together, if that would be okay with you,” Seokmin asked, his thumb caressing Jeonghan’s hands, waiting for an answer.

Jeonghan smiled a small, albeit genuine smile – he hadn’t really done that since Seokmin’s absence – and nodded. “Okay,” he said, squeezing Seokmin’s hands, conveying his gratitude and love and affection all in that simple gesture which Seokmin, deeply attuned to Jeonghan’s feelings and moods, understood immediately.

“Okay,” Seokmin seconded, leaning in to press his lips to Jeonghan’s forehead.

/////

_What’s happening?_

_They were fine._

_Very fine._

_Jeonghan couldn’t be happier._

**Author's Note:**

> also wow i wrote this in around 3 or 4 hours in one go ?? bc i was very inspired by the amount of seokhan content we got today in their recent interview!! seokhan just makes me so soft huhu and i love how clingy jeonghan is towards seokmin it makes me feel so warm inside!! huhu and also aaah im so excited for the DK x Joshua x Pink Sweat$ collab that will drop tomorrow!! let's stream it hehe


End file.
